Blog

the domino effect

Problems: How much space do they take up in your life?

As much as we might like to make our problems disappear, we can usually accept that’s not the way reality ...

Guerrilla Self-Care

I was meeting with a client and we were celebrating a recent instance of her self-care in the face of ...
Questionnaire

Depression, Anxiety, and Stress Scales

This inventory is offered for general informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for seeing a trained professional to ...
Are you ready?

Therapy Readiness

Are You Ready for Counseling? There are many factors which support people in making change happen. We look at 7 ...
amygdala

Is Your Amygdala Hijacking Your Brain?

Your amygdala is located in the limbic part of your brain. You have two of these structures, one in ...

Create the Day You Want

It comes down to Intention and Action versus Wishful Hoping. When your leave your house for work or other outings, ...
forgiveness fist

Forgiveness

Sometimes clients want to talk about someone who’s hurt them. Maybe it was a long time ago, maybe it was ...
toilet roll over or under

Love Is Not Enough

The biggest mistake I see couples and others in committed relationships make, is to think that somehow love will be ...
Personality Priorities

Personality Priorities

If you find any of the common personality typologies – such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, Social Styles, Enneagram, and ...
2 minute meditation

Do Nothing for 2 Minutes

When I come across a resource that’s well-done and potentially helpful, I want to share it with others who might ...
The four main types of Automatic Negative Thoughts: Perfectionist, Worrier, Critic, Victim

Suffering from an ANT Invasion?

ANTs are Automatic Negative Thoughts. We all have them at times. Sometimes we have so many they crowd out more ...
couple right fighting

Be Right Or Be Together?

Would your decision be easier if “being together” didn’t necessarily mean “being wrong”? A lot of couples argue about who’s ...

Anxiety

Here’s one definition of anxiety: “When behavior, affect, thought, and/or sensation are incongruent, we suffer an error signal or anxiety.” ...
yours mine ours venn diagram

Mine, Yours, Ours

Scenario #1: Time Joseph walks in the door and Letitia immediately starts telling him about her day and asking him ...
try something different

Do Something Different

There’s a famous quote defining insanity as doing the same thing again and again, yet expecting different results. We laugh ...

Stop Fighting, part 2 of 2

In my last post, I explained why it’s not realistic to think you can stop fighting completely with your spouse ...

Stop Fighting, part 1 of 2

Many couples call me because they have reached a point where the conflict in their relationship has become too much ...

Free Marriage Counseling

Several times every week visitors arrive at my website who are searching on some variation of “free marriage counseling.” I ...

Life Balance Wheel

You might be familiar with this tool already. There are many versions posted online. Each of the “pie slices” represents ...

Life Tasks

This is a more basic version of the core areas of life that are more important to one’s health and ...

If Not Now, When?

Many people hesitate to get help from counseling. The reasons why are numerous, and maybe I’ll talk about them in ...

Couple or Individual Counseling? (part 2 of 2)

The second situation (from part 1) is focused more on your internal needs and thoughts. You might be hesitant to ...

Couple or Individual Counseling? (part 1 of 2)

In this post, I’m going to give you the “executive summary” then discuss some of the ramifications of this question: ...

Couple Counseling – Who Needs It?

(Note: Couple Counseling aka Marriage Counseling aka Relationship Counseling) The short answer is “Anyone who thinks he/she does.” (The person ...