Discernment Counseling (Stay or Go)

Discernment Counseling is for couples on the brink of ending their relationship, but unsure whether splitting up is the right path. If you want to take a thorough look before making a decision with such long-term consequences, Discernment Counseling will help.

Whether you’re the one “leaning in” or “leaning out”, I’ll honor your perspective and help you reach a deeper understanding of the relationship and its problems. The goal of Discernment Counseling is to determine whether the problems can be solved. With this understanding, you can more confidently decide whether it’s better to end the relationship, commit to work issues out, or wait and see what develops.

Pointing signs asking Stay or Go

Asking yourself if you should stay or go?
Discernment Counseling can help you decide whether to make up or break up.

Sessions are divided between meeting together as a couple and individual conversations with each spouse/partner. Most of the time is spent in the individual conversations because each person is on a personal journey of discernment and action. I’ll help each partner to see his or her contributions to the problems and explore the possible solutions. Understanding yourself in a marriage is important for success in future relationships, even if the relationship/marriage ends.


This is a brief approach with a very specific goal, and as such it helps to put a cap on the process. We’ll meet up to five times, for 1.5 to 2 hours at a time. This gives us enough time to explore the factors needed to come to a decision. If you decide to stay together and work through your issues, I’m available to help you with that process.

Discernment Counseling can help you resolve the tension between one “leaning in” partner and one “leaning out” partner.


Rebecca is an ally and affirming of all healthy, mutually consenting relationships between adults.